What’s love???

There is this topic I want to hit on today, there something called true love which very hyped this past few months , it’s maybe because I am in that age to say so when most of my friends are in a committed relationship and they believe that they have found the one . And then there is me , the most insecure person you could ever meet. I am so scared of screwing things that I rehearse my order at mc d 10 times before going to the counter. So there was this girl who I liked , a lot but due to this insecurity I could never tell her , anyhow that’s a story for another time.Coming back, true love is a very very different topic to discuss, there is no one definition, there just simply not, every single person has his or her own views on what it is, how dose it feels like , is it good , is it bad, is it an emotion or a state.

So let’s try to figure this out, shall we. 
So to start with a generic definition of love: An emotion that helps justify once most stupid acts. Now at first you might disagree with me but just think about it how else will you justify binge drinking sessions and sleepless nights over a person how doesn’t even care about your existence. So yes, that’s the definition we are going forward with. There is this culture I am seeing recently that people try to give solace to a broken heart by making happy ending movies such as half girlfriend, it does nothing except giving a person false hopes that someday somewhere you will find that special someone you have been looking for. It never really happens, I am still in my late teens, haven’t seen the world yet, but I have asked around a bunch of people , and I haven’t got one person who would say that once a person is gone he/she returns. There is this line from this song “zindgi da ki ee, Lang jau gi, je tu hundi ta gal hor honi si” which roughly translates to “life is life and it will move on but you had been here life could have been something different ” . Look in this line, the poet has so beautifully described his state , he knows that she is not coming back still he is trying to imagine the possibility and cherishing that situation in his mind. Love kinda sorta does that to you. 

Vo pal kabhi na aaya 

Shayad tumse ishq karna majburi rahi hogi Shayad kabhi pyaar sacha kia jinna tha 
Shayad tere saath bitaya har pal

Kabhi aaya hi na tha
Shayad tujhe iss baat ki khbar rahi hogi

Shayad tabhi dost se zaada kuch socha nahi tha

Shayad tere saath bitaya har pal

Kabhi aaya hi na tha 
Mai koshish kar raha hu samjhne ki

Kaha ho gai mujhse ye galti 

Ke na tujhe mai samajh paaya 

Na tujhe ye samjha paaya

Ke shayad tere saath bitaya har pal 

Kabhi aaya hi na tha

Tabiyat 

Yeh toh pata tha ki tum anjaan ho mere dil ki tabiyat se,

Par hairani tab hui jab Maine kaha mai theek hu,

Aur tum ne maan lia…

Thought experiment 

Has it ever happened, you are just sitting there after an argument or just had a talk with that girl you always wanted to talk to, and think about the things you could have said and things you shouldn’t have said. It happens with me a lot, when I say a lot it means every single time. While I am pondering on it I don’t really feel very good, I feel like I am not good enough, I am not man enough to have said those things I am thinking.

Now this got me thinking, is it okay to think like this, is it okay to feel bad about your own thoughts your own feelings. Immediately I got an answer “why the hell not???”. If you think about it all the creation myth in the world has this one thing in common, that is, world is created from chaos, when there was nothing there was chaos, and science tells us that all the things tend to lower their entropy, hence increasing chaos. So, what is there with humans that we want order in all the things, why we stress so much on how the world should be. Some might argue that we survived for so long as a species because of our stubbornness towards order, to those people I want to ask a very simple question, what have we done , what have we accomplished by living so long, I need those people to think, and imagine hard, a kind of life here at earth without humans, wouldn’t that had been great. 

Okay so coming back, let’s get a discussion going what do you think, am I right or your thoughts differ from that of mine, consider this a small little thought experiment, hit me up on any of my social media platforms, I will reply the fastest on insta(@shayaraziz) or here in the comments. 

This is my life 

I have a feeling, a feeling that tells meMy life is falling apart 

I who is just in college, I who is not yet 20

I have a feeling that this life won’t last
I know that this is just a phase 

And this will pass

I know that staying strong will help

And crying all day will make it hard

Still it’s tough to sake this feeling 

That my life is ripping, pice by pice, part by part
This is a rant they say,

I don’t have the right they say, 

There are far worse places to be 

Than to live a life like me, they say

But still I believe, that I will leave,

As I won’t last, not here, not like they say
I sleep every night with a tear in my eye

And wake up with a fake smile

Maybe it is the hormones at play

Making my life all chaotic and grey

So let me be alone and face the tide

And see you on the other side……

Chaand

Badlo ke jhrokhe se hole hole jhaankta chaand 

Thoda sharmata thoda itrata chaand

Baarish se nahai iss zaameen pe, 

Chaandni bikhairta chaand 

Jitna bhi koshish kar le par,

Tujhse na khubsurat chaand.

Sirf ek tu hi nahi 

Tere baad shayad kabhi kissi se ishq nahi huaFir bhi khud ko ye yaqeen dilata raha 

Ki sirf ek tu hi nahi
Tere ilava shayad kissi pe shair nahi maine likha

Fir bhi khud ko ye yaqeen dilata raha 

Ki sirf ek tu hi nahi 
Yaad karta hu school ke lamhe 

Woh tujhe kheedki se takna

Teri har muskaan se dil ka theher jaana

Woh hafte ke do pal tujhse baat karna 

Aur fir agle din se un do palo ka intzaar karna 

Tere ilava aur kissi ke liae nahi kia 

Fir bhi khudko ye yaqeen dilata raha 

Ki sirf ek tu hi nahi
Mai bohot pagal hu, nasamajh hu, bewakuf hu

Tujhe chahane ki hesiat nahi rakhta 

Tujhe bhulane ki himmat nahi rakhta 

Tujhe batane ka jigar nahi rakhta 

Aur tujhse chipane ki klaa nahi rakhta 

Tere siwa aur kissi ke liae nahi socha esa 

Fir bhi ye khud ko yaqeen dilata raha 

Ki sirf ek tu hi nahi