Yaaden

Yaaden, dil ke andhere mai roshni karde

Yaaden, tanhai mai halchal karde 

Yaaden, bheed mai sab se juda sa karde, yaade
Kuch teri yaaden kuch meri yaaden

Bas jo dil ko jlaa ke rakh de, yaaden

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I wish I was what I think I am…

I wish I was what I think I am.

Isn’t it what everyone wants? 

Everybody is running to become a person they think they are or they think they were. This is such a strange phenomenon that our mind makes us think, forces us to think differently about our personality. 
I wish I was what I think I am. 

I always think that I am strong, that I am fierce, that I have courage and I know what I am doing, I always think I do, but the immediate results tell me otherwise. And yes, the long term results are also not very helpful. 
I wish I was what I think I am. 

I have always wanted you not to be in my poems, and I have always despised me for that. Every time I finish writing I think that the next one will be different. I know “you” in every poem is changing but I am not.
I wish I was what I think I am. 

Let’s see, I can think of hundreds of scenarios in my mind where I know I wanted to do something but I didn’t, just because I thought the future me would not like it. I forgot that the future me is me and its never me who is changing.
I really wish I was what I think I am. 

A loving, caring, sensible, farsighted, smart courageous, and a mister “know it all” person. 

But I am not, and I am kinda happy about it.
But still I wish I was what I think I am……

I Hope

This is very very specific and not one of my good writings but i had this thought in me and wanted it to be heard by the right person but i am strictly prohibited from approaching her directly. So here is a  sort of poem “I Hope”

I hope someday somewhere u will want to know how i felt ,

I hope someday somewhere u will want to know what u did,

I hope someday somewhere u will want to say a simple “hi”

I hope someday somewhere u sit on that bombay local and wait for my message,

I hope someday somewhere u will be in that computer lab and see me,

I hope someday somewhere u will  feel the pain i felt,

I hope someday somewhere u will tell that ‘pkl waala bhai’ that u are happy when u are not

I hope someday somewhere he will agree.

I hope i hope i hope.

Mirror

Today i met someone, and the way he saw me it looked like he knows me somehow. He was trying very hard to recognize me but was failing to do so. On the other hand, I had no idea who he was. Yes, he looked a lot like me but apart from that i was a totally different being , atleast that’s what I thought. 

It was an interesting meeting and it had a lot of stuff to take from it so i thought to share my experience. 

I stood dumbstruck as i saw a man just like me. 

He saw me from a distance and waved hi. 

He waved as if he knew me.

He walked towards me with confidence, 

I think he mistook me for someone else but he was sure that he knew me. 

I wanted to ask him who he was cause he was so sad  

But that smile he passed me 

It felt as if meeting me was the best part of his day

We sat, we talked, at first it was strange talking to a stranger but there was something, some very small part of me somwhere somehow connected with him. 

As we talked more we got to know each other more, every passing minute i could feel that he was getting more and more proud, on the other hand i was thinking that how the hell am I still sitting and listening to him.

He was a sad man, constantly in search for attention. He didn’t do stuff that highly as he talked about them. He said he wants to change but cannot. He said he was tired but i knew that he had not.

While i was sitting there talking and totally judging, i heard my mum call me 

“What’s up with the mirror? You are just staring at it for the past couple of minutes! “

Dil ki kash-m-kash

Iss kaali andheri raat main

Ek akeli tum aur ek tanha mai
Inn taaro ki baaraat main

Ek gumsum tum aur ek khamosh mai
Apne apne gharo ke apne kamro main

Khidki se bahaar dekhte tum esa sochta mai
Ankho ki baate shayad aankho ne samjhi 

Par unko maana nahi dil ne 
Mere ishk ke izhaar ko bhi 

Shudha mazaak samjha tere dil ne
Kitni  raate jaaga mai 

Khaab bunte bunte 
Jab woh khaabo ka tofa dia tumhe 

Unnko tissue paper banaya tumne 
Fir bhi na jaane kun ye dil chahe tujhe 

Har baar maaf kare tujhe 
Shayad ye hi sacha ishq hai 

Shayad ye hi sachi mohobat hai…..